Journey 2 The Rock: A Rocky Road to Adventure

"We’ll have all the wealth we’ll ever need, just as long as we’re together!" Kailani (Vanessa Hudgens). If this line from Journey 2: The Mysterious Island was intended as a wink at the audience, signaling a lighthearted parody of adventure films, the joke is lost amidst a tidal wave of cheesy CGI. While Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson steps into the adventure shoes previously worn by Brendan Fraser in this sequel to Journey to the Center of the Earth, neither actor will likely highlight these less-than-stellar expeditions on their career retrospectives.

Journey 2 The Rock attempts to blend literary inspirations from Jules Verne, Jonathan Swift, and Robert Louis Stevenson, charting a course to a mysterious island. Here, Sean (Josh Hutcherson reprising his role from Journey to the Center of the Earth) embarks on a quest to locate his grandfather, Alexander (Michael Caine). However, what he finds is a celebrated actor seemingly adrift in his career, delivering an exaggerated portrayal of an eccentric adventurer. The forced smiles and over-the-top laughter serve only to remind viewers of Caine’s past brilliance in genuinely superior adventures, such as his unforgettable performance as Peachy in The Man Who Would Be King. Adding another layer of questionable performance, Luis Guzman portrays Kailani’s father with a bumbling Latino stereotype that feels both outdated and awkward, overshadowing even Vanessa Hudgens’ charm.

Johnson, stepping into the role of Sean’s stepfather, has a scene so bizarre it almost defies description: serenading a campfire audience with "What a Wonderful World" on a ukulele. Yes, you read that correctly. Director Brad Peyton appears to have plumbed the depths of cinematic cheese to reach new levels of absurdity in Journey 2 The Rock.

The island itself is a menagerie of improbable creatures – dwarf elephants, shark-infested waters, and giant bees that the crew must navigate in a sequence of events that pushes the boundaries of believability even beyond the fantastical elements of Harry Potter’s adventures. Adding to the improbable plot devices, the original Nautilus from Verne’s novels makes an appearance as a means of escape. By this point, however, the audience is likely already yearning for the comfort of home, perhaps only to be confronted with the financial sting of the ticket price for this cinematic misadventure, especially if they opted for the unnecessary and unflattering 3-D experience.

For a far more rewarding and less financially draining experience, one might be better served by revisiting reruns of Gilligan’s Island.

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